UnMothers Unite!

Mother's Day: A day of flowers, of jewlery, of blatant consumerism. Sunday morning, many churches will have a pastor's wife or other female preach on the "highest value of womanhood". While we're all at church, waxing lyrical on the value of mothers, there are millions of women skipping church because for them, it's the worst day of the year.

I would know, for seven years I hated Mother's Day with every fiber of my being. You see, the doctor had told us that I probably wouldn't be able to have kids, and for seven years that proved true. Sure, I sucked it up and went to church, but I never actually listened to the sermon on mothers (something that I would never be). Instead I wrote bitter tirades against God, the church, life, any spirit from the dark beyond that was screwing up my life. And then I finally had a kid, for which I'm forever grateful; but not everyone does.

Along with the childless, there are those that are childfree by choice. Either because they weren't ready and are no longer able, or they choose to devote their life to their calling. Whatever the reason, it is a valid choice. They too feel denigrated and less-valued on Mother's Day; especially in the church. How horrible it is, that in the one place where everyone should be welcome, we alienate and disdain.

On top of that, there are those who recently lost a mother, or whose mothers were horrible mothers (read: abuse, molestation, even infanticide). Too often the church pretends that everything is all shiny, and that all mothers deserve to be lauded, or that simply by giving birth they gain a sort of sainthood. I've known some terrible mothers and I would certainly never praise their "motherhood", such as it is. I would like to see the church recognize Mother's Day, and then go on with business as usual. Perhaps some churches wouldn't see a drop in female attendance on that day.

In the US, Mother's Day was originally a day for women to protest war. The spirit was activism and empowerment for women, not a mindless indulgent consumer holiday. Consider Julia Ward Howe's Mother's Day Proclamation of 1870:

Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity,
I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

So, in the original spirit of Mother's Day, I hereby claim this day for all women, mothers or not. I claim it for the childed, the childless, and the childfree. I claim it for their God-given gifts, their creativity, and their many and endless births (of children and projects and creative manifestations). I claim this day for what we are capable of when we band together and by ourselves. On this Mother's Day, celebrate all the women in your life simply for who they are: Mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, friends, and children of the Most High King. Motherhood notwithstanding, of course.

The Requisite Politics Post

I have come to believe that I am the only democrat in my entire church. That might be in error but, so far, I haven’t come across another. It’s come more and more to light recently because people are talking about the election. Well, I say “talking”, but it’s mainly ranting against the evil little “socialist” democrats and how only Republicans are Christian.

Baloney. That’s what I think of that. God will use anyone, regardless of their political affiliation; and there are certainly non-Christians in the Republican Party. I think of the scripture in Romans 9, when Paul is talking about the authority God grants to earthy governments. I see the scripture as saying that the government as a system is allowed by God (as are the people that run it) to work His will; thus it is also allowable for Christians to participate in the system. The Bible does not, however, dictate which affiliation a Christian is to have.

I believe that Christians should follow Jesus’ example; care about the orphans, widows, the poor, the sick and infirm, the elderly, etc, etc. So as Christians, we should be concerned about social welfare, justice, equality, and peace. We should care about social security for our elderly, and health care for the poor, and fiscal accountability for our cities.

It often irritates me that Christians seem to focus only on a few areas to the exclusion of all others. And we all know what they are: Homosexuality, abortion, and more recently, bioethics like stem cell research. Yes, those are important issues, but they are not the only ones! Yes, I am pro-life, in that I believe life begins at conception, but I also don’t believe it ends at birth. I should be just as concerned about the adoption process, or the foster care system, or education reform. Yes, I believe that homosexuality is a sin, but it is not the sin above all sins, and honestly, I’m not really sure that the government should regulate its citizen’s private sex lives beyond the norm. I certainly don’t want them butting into mine, so why should I ask them to get involved other consensual, adult relationships? My purpose here wasn’t to rant specifically about homosexuality or abortion (although you’re welcome to start a conversation in the comments).

My purpose is to widen the lens a little to show that democrats and Christ are not mutually exclusive. Nor are Republicans only a “Christian Party”. I certainly don’t claim to know everything, and my political affiliations may change, but I firmly believe in the causes Jesus cared for. I believe in whole societies and whole people. I believe in a society that holds children in high regard. I believe in a system where regular people can make a difference. None of those are on either party’s manifesto; they are, however, on Christ’s.

So, for this election, as the partisan squalls rise to new levels, let’s not lean to the left or to the right, but stay centered; well, Christ-centered, anyway.

Stories and Stakeholders

I have a large extended family. My grandpa had three sisters and a brother; each, in turn, had kids, grandkids, and even great-grandkids. A lot of people. I’m currently scanning back issues of our family newsletter to distribute via email. That right, we have a family newsletter. Actually, we have two; a newsletter and a family chronicle. Genealogical trees, fiction, horrible (in retrospect) teenage poetry, jokes, stories, and even puzzles were included.

My family is a family of storytellers. And I love it. There is something humbling about knowing that the people I only know as “Grandpa” or “Great-Aunt” were once my age; with the same passions, the same troubles, the same heartaches, the same hopes and fears. That my great-uncle once cut down his grandpa’s (my great-great grandpa’s) mailbox in a fit of childish anger. That my grandpa got his younger brother a job at a creamery. That my mom went camping with her parents, just as I went camping with mine. It’s reassuring to know that people and interactions really don’t change. It reminds us that we all have a story in common; and while I may barely know my second and third cousins, we all come from the same stock and that connects us.

I’m writing a paper for school right now about the responsibility of digital preservation, and I spend a lot of time talking about the different types of stakeholders there are. Before we can come up with a solution to a problem, we need to identify the stakeholders. We need to know who’s involved with the issue; we need to know who is connected.

Is digital preservation really all that different than my family? Is my family all that different than the church? Are stakeholders the same as common stories? I loved having my family because I knew that I was never alone, and that all these people would love and accept me no matter what I did, simply because I was theirs and a part of their story.

Sound familiar? We are God’s, and He is ours, and we are each other's. We all have a common story; we all have a stake in each other. Before we can even begin to solve any of our problems and show the message of Christ, we need to understand this basic issue. Before we can save other people, we need to understand our stake in other people. It’s a heady thought, to take what I get from my family and end up with the most basic fact of life: That we are all a branch of the same family and take part in a transcendent story; of love and sin and redemption.

Once we understand that, then, just as I love my cousin who’s made some pretty bad decisions, or my third cousins even though I’ve never met them, it should be just as easy loving a Muslim, or a lesbian, or a drug addict, or whomever, simply because we all are human. We all have a Common Story.

Mea Culpa

I know, it's been a month since I've posted. I've really been concentrating on my ministry blog, and working on networking and figuring out my internet ministry. I've got a lot of my brain cogs going at the moment.

We've moved back up to Auburn. We're staying at my in-laws house for a couple months while they're in Africa to save some money. Then we'll rent a house. I'll let you all know the address once we move in August.

Judah is getting bigger by the minute. He's such a personality, it's crazy that just a few months ago he was just a thing to schlep around. Now he's signing like crazy and talking and pointing and running and jumping (if you can believe it!). He has very definite opinions on things like how oatmeal is bad, and the park is better than the house, and dogs are the best things in the whole wide world. I didn't know 15 month olds were so opinionated.

I'll be adding some pictures to the photo gallery sometime this week. I think. I hope. Keep an open mind, just in case. :-)

Anyway, I'm on dial up right now (ye olde spawn of satan), so I should start uploading this because I have to go to bed in a few hours. Catch you later, though hopefully, it won't be a month later this time!