The Absence of Time

Well, I'm pretty happy that the website is up, but it's going to take time to get it where I want it. I have lots of ideas, but I'm still learning html, so we'll see how long it looks like a sixth-grade school project.

So I was thinking the other day how weird it is that I really can't remember Judah being a little infant. I am so used to him being 7 months that I forget what it was like when he couldn't even lift his head. It just seems like he has always been this age. The author, Jorge Luis Borges, described this feeling as the "absence of time": that yesterday is only present memory, and tomorrow is only future hope. There is no "time" per se, but all we have is this present moment. It feels like that sometimes with Judah. I know he was little, but I can't equate that unresponsive sack of sugar with this crawling, babbling, smiling baby. The mental disconnect comes because we get caught in the busy-ness of life and Judah grows so incrementally that we don't really notice until we stop and look back and compare. And then I think, "when did he grow so much? I never noticed him growing." I wonder if other people ever feel that, or if they're too busy to actually stop and think about stupid things like this . . .

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